Payne and Gaul Backed by Once Corporate Giant

In an move that nobody saw coming, Lanesharks announced today that they will back both Luke Gaul and Brice Payne. For those unfamiliar, Lanesharks is very big in the underground circuit of bowling. Spokesman Thomas Sorrenti announced shortly after 2:00 EST today that "The Sons of Thunder" will be financially backed by the notorious organization. The most shocking aspect of this arrangement is that both of these men will entering this weekend's tournament. We here at WTI have a few questions. How long has this been in the works? Why make this announcement with less than 24 hours to go before the games start? What happens if these two meet later in the series? Most importantly, who put this thing in motion? Sorrenti added "Maybe now, people will see what this game is really about. This is the premier way to raise consciousness and make Lanesharks the household name it should be."

A primer on Lanesharks; Founded in 2001 by "Swedish" Kale Ugul, this company started out providing sweatbands and wrist bands to anyone who would wear them. Within a year, one could not step foot into an alley without seeing the signature shark logo. As profits grew, so did egos. Before long they were providing shoes, balls, shirts, talcum powders, and anything else they could slap a shark picture on. The pinnacle came in 2004 when they opened a chain of bowling alleys along the Eastern seaboard. Laneshark's image became tarnished when then-president, Ric Yen-Baep, began to introduce a line of adult toys and products to be sold alongside all of their standard wares. Allegiances were divided among the company and Yen-Baep sold his shares to Ugul and moved to Honduras. Ugul has steadily built the company's image back up by supplying shirts and wrist protectors free of charge to pretty much anybody who wants them.

At the risk of alienating fans of Luke and Brice, this is not the same institution it was less than 3 short years ago. Congratulations are in order for both of these men for such an "accomplishment" so early in their Pro careers. We wish them luck and hope the future stays rosy.